Thank you for your service. Go away now.

There are some words, phrases and slang that have worn out their welcome.  It is time for them to be removed from our lexicon, lives and society as a whole. Here are a few examples:

Chillax-the blend of “chill” and “relax.” When this word is uttered it has the exact opposite effect of the word’s intended meaning on me.  Perhaps the person is being ironic, but I doubt it since so few people actually know what irony is.  People in their twenties or younger spout “chillax” when they think someone is being overly dramatic, officious or interfering.  (However, since some kids have little to no sense of urgency or propriety some adults may try to point out their problematic ways. The younger generation, told by their parents from birth that they can do no wrong, usually take exception. “Chillax.” is the usual response.) Example: Adult “Excuse me, please don’t cut in line and yell into your cell phone while waiting for Justin Bieber tickets. It’s rude.”  Non-adult “Chillax.”  At this point, the adult should take out a club and beat the offender to death.  Once finished, turn to the sea of gaping faces and say “This is what happens to people who say ‘chillax.'”

Literally-Hold on, I know what you’re thinking.  Literally is literally a great word.  My problem is when people use it to mean metaphorically or figuratively or use it because they think it makes them sound smart and adds a little flourish to a story. Literally stems from the word literal which means “in accordance with, involving, or being the primary or strict meaning of the word or words.” “Strict meaning of the word or words.” Thus, someone may be so fascinated by a lecture or show that she is literally on the edge of her seat but she can not literally hang on every word.  Words are not forming in the air for her to hang onto. “I was literally scared to death.” No, no you weren’t. Otherwise we would not be having this conversation. “I was literally on fire with passion.” Ow. Sound painful. Get some ointment.

Roman Polanski-writer, director, artiste and convicted child rapist.  Why is he still free?  Why do noted Hollywood and cinema elite still work with this man? When he was detained in Switzerland for possible extradition to the US for the crime for which he was convicted several film makers, actors, etc. from around the world signed a petition.

“As members of the European Film Academy and the European film community we protest at the arbitrary treatment of one of the world’s most outstanding film directors. We declare our deep respect for our colleague and friend Roman Polanski and we demand his immediate release.”

Oh, I’m sorry, now I understand, he’s a talented and respected child rapist.  WTF? Not only did he rape an underaged girl, 13 years old, he kept feeding the girl drugs. Even in her induced state she repeatedly tried to leave and asked to go home but he prevented her from doing so. Rape. Rape. Rape.  “But it was 30 years ago…” So?! Your point?! “Hasn’t he suffered enough?”  Um, let’s see. Though some may see 30 years in France as pure torture, he’s had a pretty sweet 30 years being able to travel through most of Europe and live as free citizen despite being a rapist and a scoff-law. Not fucking bad, Roman.  Pretty good work, if you can get it.

Time for Roman to go bye-bye.


About The Sassy Librarian

Librarian. Writer. Curmudgeon.
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5 Responses to Thank you for your service. Go away now.

  1. imaginarymen says:

    Uh oh. I literally use literally ALL the time ;-0

  2. Karl Otterson says:

    So is Roman Polanski literally or only figuratively a word, phrase or slang to be removed from our lexicon? Or should he just be removed from society as a whole? In any case, I am inordinately pleased to have found your blog. Also I am glad that someone else still respects the dictionary definition of irony. I demonstrate my devotion to the concept by hiding some somewhere in this comment. Identification of said irony left as an exercise for the interested student. For extra entertainment, you may enjoy this mocking of singers who wouldn’t know irony if it literally bit them in broca’s area of the brain:

  3. Stumbled (not literally) on this while roaming around facebook… Sarah, you make your mama proud.
    Of course!

  4. Amy S says:

    I love it, Sarah! I agree all around. And how about I just beat people with a club at first sight? …. because you just KNOW they’re gonna do something to piss me off!

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