You Want Fries With That?

I reduce-reuse-recycle as must as the next sassy librarian. I try to avoid eating endangered species, avoid eating at chain restaurants who get their food supplies from huge agribusinesses and I shake my fist at SUV drivers who clearly have no need for such a vehicle.  (Seriously, Buddy.  I would love to see you take that Cadillac Escalade off-roading. Ok, how about a dirt road? A two lane road–one lane for each direction? Out of your town?  I thought not.)

There is one thing I will NOT do for Mother Earth.  Behold!

Ronald McDonald Pad

A re-useable sanitary napkin from McDonald’s.

There are so, so many things wrong here:

1. Personally, I will NEVER reuse something that catches or contains bodily fluids.   Yes, about twelve times a year I am dumping lots of not-so-easily biodegradable “feminine products” into a trash can for 5 days at a stretch. I am TOTALLY okay with this. Would a reusable pad reduce my environmental footprint? Yes.  Would it save me money over time? Yes. Would it buy me credibility among my tree-hugging friends? Yes.  Do I lose sleep because I’m not using washable pads?  Not a wink.  I have no desire to wash, dry, fold and use such products.  It is just gross.

In fact, were I suddenly stuck without disposable sanitary supplies and only had a washable pad, I would grab a wad of toilet paper to line my panties.  No toilet paper? No paper towelling? Fine. I’ll use a never-been-used cloth pad but it is hitting a trash can immediately after use.  If in 5 years the Earth were in such dire straits that we were no longer able to produce disposable sanitary supplies, I would have my uterus removed. Seriously.

Am I hurting the environment? Probably. But there are far bigger sinners including the company whose logo and spokes clown are emblazoned on the item above.

2. Was this really made to help Mother Earth? If so, this is bizarre marketing for McDonald’s. McDonald’s, the company that supports/helped create agribusiness that destroys the earth. McDonald’s, the company that puts all its food in disposable containers. Yeah. That McDonald’s. Apparently they want to reduce the litter that bleeding women create on a monthly basis, filling our landfills to bursting. Um, last time I saw litter on the roadway, McDonald’s, it had the golden arches on it not a string attached to it.

3. For whom, exactly, is this marketing intended?  Menstruating tweens? Kitsch -loving hipsters? The mentally challenged? Oh, God. What if McDonald’s volunteered to provide developing countries with reusable feminine supplies (to help the disadvantaged, of course.) Perhaps then they though, “Hey, we can help people and the environment by providing washable sanitary supplies, but why miss a great marketing opportunity? We have MickyD’s all over the world. We are recognized everywhere. Why not offer a reminder to the poor as to who helped them in their time of need. Who helped them when they needed sanitary items the most. Who is helping keep their roads free of bloody waste. Who, when they come to order a sandwich from us will ask ‘You want fries with that?'”

Thanks to for the image.


About The Sassy Librarian

Librarian. Writer. Curmudgeon.
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One Response to You Want Fries With That?

  1. Jill says:

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! Not gonna lie, when I first saw that pic I thought it was a face mask that you wear to sleep.

    I have this shuddering feeling of this being used as an example to teach little girls about puberty. And really, if they wanted to do that, why not put cute little Grimace on it? Ugh Ronald McDonald near my snatch-no thank you!

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