Dear Santa, Item One on My Christmas List.

You and your loved one are curled up in front of a crackling fire.  Lights are low, the mood is right.  Giggling and cuddling you move to the floor and run your fingers along this:


Cue the scream.

My first reaction when I saw this was “WHY?”  Then I thought about it for a bit.

1. This would be a great house-warming gift left for friends, anonymously, in front of their new fireplace. See how long until they notice.  Wait for the Facebook post.

2. Do you have a friend with a doll house?  Follow same rules as above, leave rat in front of doll house fire-place anonymously.  This may actually look ok as it could be proportional to a bear skin rug in a real house. Friend may actually put up a thankful Facebook post.

3. Tell coworker s/he should upgrade from the mousepad. Use phrases such as “I can’t believe you still use one of those disgusting things.” and “Do you know how many germs the average mousepad has on its surface? Gross.”  Then replace the mousepad with the rat rug. Tie a nice little bow on the rat’s head then place the computer mouse the rat’s back.  It’s ready to go! Wheeee.

What I really liked about this Rat Rug listing was the description the taxidermist wrote for this item.

“For your consideration: A lovingly hand mounted and stitched sweet little rat-skin rug. This little guy is brown with white feet. He’s mounted on chocolate and denim blue felt, stitched with silver thread. Hang him on the wall or lay him on a table, and get lots of compliments on this VERY one of a kind piece!

“widest: 6.5″


“This rat died casually at a pet store and was stuffed to mock a bear skin rug. This is a slight amaturer piece. He has one small rip on his tail about 1/4″.”

My favorite bits from the description:

“…get lots of compliments on this VERY one of a kind piece” Comments? Oh, yes.  You’ll get those. Compliments? Define “compliments.”

“This rat died casually…” What? How? What does that even mean? What other taxidermied creature have died “casually” for my enjoyment and decorating pleasure?

“This slight amaturer piece.” Maybe it is “amaturer.” But, I’ll never know since I can’t find a definition for that word.  Maybe it’s taxidermy lingo…

Thank you Regretsy.

About The Sassy Librarian

Librarian. Writer. Curmudgeon.
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2 Responses to Dear Santa, Item One on My Christmas List.

  1. imaginarymen says:

    Wow. That would be to my mom, what the frog purse was to me = HORRIFYING!!

  2. Pingback: The 10 Most Ridiculous And Expensive Things Ever Sold On eBay – loopfy

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