Attention WalMart Shoppers–Welcome to WalMart Wednesday

Many friends of mine have sent me photos from and links to the site “People of Walmart” where frightening/funny photos and stories of Wally-World shoppers are posted for all to enjoy.  I decided to start a Walmart Wednesday to comment on one or two pics posted on the site or anything sent to me by friends. (An idea rip-off of my friend’s Imaginary Men blog where she has theme days–Thanks Amy)

Ahh WalMart.  I hate that store. I hate the lack of cleanliness. I hate the smell–a mix of industrial strength cleaner dabbed here and there, for effect, and the general funk of desperation and misery. I hate the crappy way they treat their employees and I hate their predatory pricing practices. As you may have surmised–I’m not a fan. I shop there only when I have to. When in Las Vegas I desperately needed to buy sunscreen (SFP 110–love it!) and had to pick up a specific high school’s athletic wear (story for another time.)

What I do like are the employees who dress in the fashion of the era s/he feels s/he peaked in the attractiveness department. That year, for most WalMart’s employees I’ve seen, is 1987. And I love that so many people feel they can go there as themselves, scabs, crabs and all.  Most people in established and developing countries have, presumably, some sort of reflective surfaces to look in before leaving the house, bathroom, burned-out warehouse or RV.  What inspires me is that all of these people looked at their reflections and said “Yes!”  Not only did they check themselves out on the way out the door, some of these looks would have taken a lot of time to accomplish.  Well done!

This way to the carnage…

2199

The only way you would see me in something like this is if I were trying to escape a burning building in the middle of the night in wintertime. Slippers? Check.  Long underwear? Check. Odd makeup/stash case? Check. Actually, even if I did end up fleeing a burning house in nothing but this outfit, I would go and sit in my car then call and wait for friends to bring me some clothes.  I would NOT traipse into WalMart to buy snack foods.

Well, I’m assuming this woman’s house has not burned to the ground and she just dropped in to pick up a couple of things. Yes, tights can be comfortable but, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, woman, no one looks good in just tights! Did you just clothe yourself with what was in a pile next to your bed then use a compact mirror to check yourself out?

May I suggest, madam, a couple of things available, at that very WalMart, to add to your cart before you leave…

first

Just My Size - Women's Plus Print Skirt

Just My Size – Women’s Plus Print Skirt

and so this little faux pas doesn’t happen again.

Adesso Alice Floor Mirror in Satin Steel

Adesso Alice Floor Mirror in Satin Steel

A begrudging thanks to WalMart.

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About The Sassy Librarian

Librarian. Writer. Curmudgeon.
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4 Responses to Attention WalMart Shoppers–Welcome to WalMart Wednesday

  1. I too receive Walmart fashion shows from some of my friends. How did you manage to select pick one to critique? A horrendous task!
    Your loving Mom

  2. imaginarymen says:

    Ain’t nothing wrong with a Wal-Mart across from Sam’s Town baby!

  3. imaginarymen says:

    …and if it makes you feel better – we got the sunscreen in Target. The WM visit was JUST for “specific high school’s athletic wear” ;-0

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