Madame/Sir, do you suffer from some condition where your sense of touch is diminished? Are you not able to tell whether or not something is touching or sliding down your skin?
Or were you just hoping someone would compliment you on your remarkably hair and blemish-free butt and were just not sure how to bring it up in polite conversation?
I’m just going to add an item to your shopping list; it’s called a “belt.” You’ve heard of belts before and may have even seen people wearing them. Now, I know that this is item is sometimes referred to as an “accessory,” meaning a subordinate or supplementary part or object used to add to the attractiveness of an outfit. In your case, however, a belt is a “necessity,” meaning necessary or indispensable, an imperative requirement. Aisle 13.
Image courtesy People of WalMart.