So, I’m getting ready for another first-date with some guy who hopefully has a full set of teeth. (WIN!) Since I go out on a date but once a quarter I should really go all-out and decorate the apartment.
First the Tree:
(People of WalMart.)
Yes Virginia, those are yellow thongs. Lights are optional, but do add a bit of pizzaz.
Now, I should pick up some stockings at Wal-Mart to wear on the date and to hang for the First-date Fairy to leave gifts in:
Anti Embolism Thigh High Stocking Extra Large Long Length
Ok, these are anti-embolism stockings but they’re the only thigh-highs I could find. And white color helps me look like an innocent librarian. An innocent librarian wearing thigh-high stockings. Bonus, they’re 5 star rated!
I’ll hang these up on the shower curtain before bedtime and hope the First-Date Fairy leaves me some good stuff.
Good night everybody!
Good morning, let’s check to see if that fairy left me any goodies.
Great! I need a new bra.
Sweet. My razor is getting pretty dull.
WTF?? THAT’S JUST RUDE! Friggin’ fairy.
7PM, night of the date. Don’t think I’ll don the thigh-highs stockings, don’t want to give the wrong impression.
My date wanted to meet up at Wal-Mart. Not an auspicious start but I said I would go and you never know. He asked that I give him a call on his cell phone when I get there so we can find each other. Off for my date. Wish me luck!
“Hi. Is this Mark?…..You’re Mark?…….Yeah, this is the Librarian…..Hi……Um, I won’t be able to make it tonight after all…..No, um, I totally forgot that I had already made plans for this evening…..What?…..Oh, uh, I have to floss something tonight……Yeah. No, can’t do it then either. I’m parking and stuff…..No, that’s no good either…..Uh, I’m, like, crazy busy for the next couple of months. I’ll call you when I think I can get together with you.”
Back home in 30 minutes flat. A new record for this librarian. Hmmm, not much on the tv tonight. Oh, wait, there’s something left in my stockings from the First-Date Fairy…
THANK YOU, FIRST-DATE FAIRY!!!!!! It’s like you know me…
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