Give Me a Job for F*&%* Sake: Take One

So, this past Thanksgiving weekend I went to see a concert in Boston, MA. Great show, great time.  After the show I ran into the tour manager of one of my favorite bands. I knew him from seeing a DVD of a live performance the band put out a year and a half ago. I introduced myself, told him I was a high school librarian and mentioned that I needed summer work and would love to work for that specific band.  He laughed politely and we chatted a little longer, then my friend and I left.  Before turning the corner to get to my friend’s car I realized that I wanted to make sure he knew that I was serious and turned to go back to where he was, only to see him getting on the tour bus to leave. When I got home I sent him a Facebook friend request. That was ignored (of course.) I then went online, snooped around, and found his work e-mail address (it wasn’t that hard, I am a librarian–I know where and how to find stuff.)

I decided to put together a cover letter and resume asking him for a summer job. Why apply for a job that doesn’t exist to a man who may only have a vague memory of who I am? Why not? You won’t hear “yes” unless you ask. What did I have to lose? Since he was on tour with another band at the time, I waited until after the New Year to send the job request, with the cover letter in the body of the email and the resume attached. It was sent January 3rd; I have heard nothing. Of course.

Did I really expect to get a job offer? No. It is nice to dream but I would have been surprised/shocked had something come through. But since I put a lot of thought and effort into this cover letter and resume I thought I would show it to you, my few readers, to enjoy/dissect.

I have also decided to send him a new cover letter and resume at the beginning of each month until I hear something from him (or his lawyer.) Each month will have a new theme and letter (April is poetry month, I plan on doing the cover letter in haikus.) After they are sent, I will post them here. And if I get a “cease and desist” letter, I shall post that too.

Please take a look at what I sent and let me know how I can improve upon them or if there is a theme you would like to see for February and March…and yes, the tone of the first is fun but serious and no, I did not send the cover letter and resume with X’s in the place of my name and work places.  That is just to protect me in case I have a reader or two who doesn’t already know who I am…

Cover Letter

Sassy Librarian

7 Mxxxxxx Road

Axxxxxxxx, XX 55555

Cell:  555 555-5555

xxx_5555@hotmail.com

Xxxxx Xxxxxxx

XxxxXxxxXxxxx

January 3, 2011

Dear Mr. X,

As you may have guessed from the return address above, my name is Sassy Librarian. We met in Boston Thanksgiving weekend; I talked to you about working for you in the summer of 2011. You were very nice and humored me, thank you. This letter and resume are to let you know that I’m serious. I would love to work for you this summer.

I have always had a love for music; it has played an incredibly important role in my life in many ways which I will not go into here.  Since no one would pay to hear me sing, this would be an incredible opportunity for me to be involved in music using the skills and experience I have.

My skills include: exceptional written and oral communication; excellent organizational skills; work well with colleagues as well as independently; driven; persistent; learn quickly; listen and ask questions; experience handling high-maintenance individuals; hard worker; fun and funny.

I have had background checks to work in public schools, please feel free to conduct one.

I will even work one week for free either this summer or for a trial week in February or April (school vacation.) If I don’t work out or if I don’t mesh well with the organization, I’ll ship my own ass back to New England. You will have lost nothing. Can you find people to work for you for free at any time? Of course. I, however, can’t afford to do that–I’m a public school teacher, I need to earn money in the summer.

I thank you for having taken the time to read this (if you haven’t read this–may you stub your toe.)

Please contact me with any questions.

I trust this finds you well.

Sincerely,

Sassy Librarian

attached: Resume

Resume–(Something I should add to General Skills?)

Sassy Librarian

7 Mxxxxxx Road

Axxxxxxxx, XX 55555

Cell:  555 555-5555

xxx_5555@hotmail.com

OBJECTIVE

To work 8 weeks during my summer break for you, Mr. X.

EDUCATION

College Graduate School of Library and Information Science, Boston, MA July 2008

Master of Library and Information Science with concentration in School Libraries.

College, Northampton, MA May 1995

Bachelor of Arts in Government and American Studies.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

Xxxxxxx High School, Xxxxxxxx, XX                    August 2008-Present

Library Teacher

Teach faculty and students how to use databases, online reference sources, search engines and print sources effectively for project and personal use. Answer teachers’ reference questions and guide students to the correct sources to answer their own questions. Excellent organizational skills easily adapted to the purpose as needed. Supervise circulation desk. Conduct collection development including selection and acquisition. Catalog and classify new materials for easy retrieval from online library catalog. Oversee library aids and volunteers to assure smooth running of library.

Xxxxxxx , Xxxxxxxxx, XX                          December 2003-August 2008

Customer Service Representative/Office Administrator/Machine Operator

Coordinated jobs for printing and mailing with sales staff and customers, tracked print jobs as they went into production to make sure they were completed and mailed in a timely fashion. Managed on-site inventory for clients. Assured sufficient funding was received for postage prior to job mailing. Filed and completed administrative tasks as needed. Operated commercial inkjet machine.

Xxxxxx Xxxxxx, Xxxxxxxxx, XX April 2000-April 2004

Software Quality Assurance Engineer

Tested software for defects, grammar, and soft-skills content. Conducted and created tests to better process software versions. Worked full-time and on a contract basis.

X School of Xxxx , Xxxxxx, XX                        January 1999-April 2000

Student Billing and Room Reservations Coordinator

Liased with University Billing Office regarding billing and financial issues; communicated deadlines and school policies to students and staff. Determined financial clearance for registration and graduation. Conducted and coordinated all non-course related room scheduling.

Xxxxxx Xxxxxxx, Xxxxxxx, XX           September 1996-December 1998

Business Operations Assistant

Conducted bookkeeping and human resources assistance for office, including general and business operations orientation. Maintained office library and cataloged new articles for research purposes.

Xxxxxx Sailing School, Xxxxxxx. XX        April 1996-September 1996

Business Manager, Seasonal Position

Scheduled and oversaw office staff, created daily schedule and assisted with enrollment and class management of junior sailing school.

COMPUTER SKILLS

PC and Mac literate.  Knowledge in Microsoft Office suite, Pages, Keynote and Garage Band; familiar with various databases and technologies including wikis and blogs.

GENERAL SKILLS

Research. Organization. Proven success in focusing breadth and depth of research skills to deliver precisely what the client requires. Excellent written and oral communication. Proactive. Calm under pressure. Sense of humor. (see https://thesassylibrarian.wordpress.com.) Heavy-ish lifting. Will do windows. Won’t do toilets.

————-

Are there horrendous errors? Bad grammar? Crappy approach? Was the “high maintenance” reference too much? Any tips would be appreciated….

Perhaps this should be showcased on Failblog.org…

XO The Sassy Librarian.



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About The Sassy Librarian

Librarian. Writer. Curmudgeon.
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3 Responses to Give Me a Job for F*&%* Sake: Take One

  1. imaginarymen says:

    I love it! And I love doing it each month. If nothing else, you’ll be noted for your persistence 😉

  2. ESB says:

    I’d hire you! The wish for toe stubbing was a nice touch

  3. Pingback: Give Me a Job for F*&%* Sake: Take Two | Sassy Librarian

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