“The Devil” You Say

You will always run across graffiti on bathroom walls; it’s just the way it is. Give humans’ a blank space and we’ll fill it with whatever missives, “clever” lines or credos come to mind.

One day, when I was in high school, I went to use the bathroom during class.  After closing the stall door and sitting down I looked up. My eyes fell upon something new written on the back of that stall’s door. As soon as what was written registered in my brain, I burst out laughing. I was laughing so hard that I almost fell off the toilet. Scrawled in red ink, adorned with horns, was the following text…

“I WORSHIP SATIN”

Now, I have to give this girl points. She TRIED. She had clearly never read the word “Satan” anywhere. (Thus making her intended statement implausible. The first lesson in Satan worship is learning how to spell the name of this fallen angel. She probably didn’t even know that Satan is a fallen angel. Since teen girls are given to spouting hyperbole, she probably didn’t worship Satan so much as really dislike sunny days.) This girl, with the urgent need to express herself, did what all good teachers tell you to do when you are first learning to read and spell. “Sound it out.” So try she did “say…tin” “say…tin.” She sensed that there shouldn’t be a “y” in the word “Satan” because the letter “y” really isn’t very scary and does not inherently lend itself to devilish ways. (There is a “y” in “sunny.” Part of the thing which, we have already speculated, she was not fond.) So she jettisoned the “y.” This left her with “sa…tin.” “Satin” she thought, or maybe even said out loud because I envision that this girl, red pen in hand, had to move her lips to read or think. Sadly, sounding out this word, and our public education system, failed this girl–much to my, and other students’, delight. Later in the week, someone left a written comment to “I WORSHIP SATIN” reading “I PREFER COTTON” with little halos drawn above the “c” and “n” in cotton.  I wonder who wrote that clever retort…

Anyway, this is what brought that memory back.

photo

I worship satin

I’m of two minds about this.  He does have a pentagram on his chest which makes me think that he wanted to tag his photo with “I worship Satan.” However, his get-up does have some extremely shiny material showing here and there. Perhaps he does worship “satin.” Since worshiping things other than the Lord is a sin (false idol, anyone?), he thought he’d draw a pentagram on his chest to show that he does not care. “If worshiping satin is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

Thank you Flickr.

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About The Sassy Librarian

Librarian. Writer. Curmudgeon.
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