Madame Number One,
Please tell me that you wore more than a pair of panties on your butt…Wait, wait, don’t tell me. I’m just going to go ahead and assume those are shorts you’re wearing.
That written, no one should EVER wear pants or short shorts that match the color of one’s flesh. It frightens people. Truly.
Madame Number Two,
Why are your eyes closed? You know that even when you can’t see us, we can still see you…
Do us a favor. Those pants hanging on your cart, put them on. Put them on. You can even do it with your eyes closed. Put them on.
Madame Number Three,
I know that childhood can be painful. Sometimes we subconsciously recreate the same traumas over and over again in hopes that, this time, it will be fixed. But for the love, lady. It was you DAD who missed your tap dance recital when you were eight. NOT the rest of the world. RETIRE this outfit–you’ve worn it far too long. Your FATHER is the one who should suffer from seeing this, NOT US.
Thank you People of Wal~Mart.