Being single in the 21st century means having a profile on a dating website. My profile has a few pictures of me, a personal statement, answers to questions about various likes, what I do for fun, taste in music, books and t.v. The basic information one would blather about at a cocktail party. A cocktail party that you have willingly gone to despite the fact that you know no one. That kind of cocktail party. For those who want the down and dirty information about someone, it has a cheat sheet of basic stats: age, level of education attained, job, diet preferences, drinking habits, and so on.
As you would imagine, my profile mentions that I am a high school librarian and enjoy writing. It also contains complete sentences, proper spelling and grammar, and the fact that I’m a grammar nerd despite the fact that I can’t spell well and make frequent grammatical errors. (I write about fun things I do too.)
Recently, I’ve been thinking I need to change-up my profile. The guys who’ve been emailing me are not quite what I’m looking for.
Today’s example just falls under the category of “Really?”
This email arrived from a would be suitor today…
From Sinhora “Hello, how r n how is life, ope u r doing great out there how is the weather around yo area.”
1. Are your hands broken so you were forced to type a message to me with your nose? If no, humor me and write out the words with the Roman alphabet. 2. You live two towns away from me. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess we are experiencing the same weather. 3. WTF is up with your user name? 4. Are you cockney? What’s with “ope” for “hope?” 5. Clearly, you barely read my profile; if you had you may have noticed I like full words and complete sentences.
My policy is that I will always email the guy to let him know if I’m interested or not.
So for this guy I will give the standard “thanks, am flattered blah, blah, blah, don’t think we’re suited, blah blah, good luck, blah.” But I’m tempted to send…
“Hi, Nt sure bout wethr, fell nto huge sink’ole aftr 2day’s big rthquake n cant c the sky. Ope fires r out soon. H8 2 go but watr filling ‘ole. L8r.”
Maybe I should have called this post “H8ing the D8ing Game.”