Read the Signs: Shut the Mouth

You may have gathered from reading any of my posts, I have no problem tweaking people–sometimes, to their faces. A few years ago a street vender selling jewelry in Portland had a sign reading “Earring $5.” I asked him if he was going to tell me which earring was $5 or if I had to guess.

I’ll say something like this to someone if I think the person I’m abusing will think it’s funny. Also, I can be a little pedantic. Or a pedant.

Pedant, as defined by




1. a person who makes an excessive or inappropriate display of learning.
2. a person who overemphasizes rules or minor details.
3. a person who adheres rigidly to book knowledge without regard to common sense.


People such as me are also known as “know-it-alls” or more commonly, “assholes.”

I would never make a smart-ass comment about a sign to the guy who made the sign below…

Judging by the spray painted sign, the gravel road, and the aged saw horse, this guy means business. The whole thing reads “Sassy, do NOT tweak this person!!!”

This is how I imagine the conversation going…

Me: “Why no tusspass? Are you afraid tusspassers will find your buried tussure?”

Him: *BLAM*

Me: dead

Thank you


About The Sassy Librarian

Librarian. Writer. Curmudgeon.
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