Twitter and the Philosopher/Moron: Legends of the Fail

In college, my Heterosexual Life Partner, Amy (check out her blog, Imaginary Men) and I were all over Brad Pitt. The movie Legends of the Fall came out and so we saw it. This movie is pure schlock. Pitt is pretty but a mediocre actor, at best. A sweeping (…ly over-hyped) epic (..ly mockable) film. In one of the many “pivotal” scenes Brad, playing the wayward, troubled son, asks the now partially paralyzed patriarch, played by the scene chewing Anthony Hopkins

Pitt: …when Samuel died, I cursed God. Did I damn everyone around me as well as myself?

Hopkins: No! You are not damned…

Hopkins yelled through the side of his mouth because the character’s paralysis, as well as lock-jaw apparently, limited his mouth’s mobility. So the line sounded like: “Nuuuh! Yer nut DANNNNED!” I laughed out loud after that line. I don’t think I stopped laughing for a few minutes. Amy found this ridiculously funny as well so we reenacted this little vignette often.

In the middle of a particularly painful class…

Amy (whispering): Did I damn everyone around me as well as myself?

Me: (whispering yet forceful) Nuuuh! Yer nut DANNNNED!

Discovering, again, that the latest magazine issue with George Clooney on the cover is not yet in…

Amy: Did I damn everyone around me as well as myself?

Me: Nuuuh! Yer nut DANNNNED!

Waiting for our fries at the worst staffed, most passive-aggressively managed McDonald’s of all time…

Amy: Did I damn everyone around me as well as myself?

Me: Nuuuh! Yer nut DANNNNED!

You get the idea.  Well, I saw something today that made me realize we are damned. We are so, so damned.

Let’s look at Twitter’s bevy of Philosopher/Morons’ reactions to the statement that the Olympic games have been around for 3000 years…

Oh.

My.

God.

Amy, next time I see you, ask “Did I damn everyone around me as well as myself?”

Me: YERS! YERS! Yew RRR DANNNNED! Wer ALL DANNNNED!!

Thank you failblog.org. And don’t forget to check out Imaginary Men!

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About The Sassy Librarian

Librarian. Writer. Curmudgeon.
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